Sunday, April 4, 2010

Reality Show Comes to HHI

Citing a decline in ratings in the 12-18 demographic, the Golf Channel has announced that it will drop "Being John Daley", replacing it with a new reality show entitled "Spoon for A Day".

"In the eyes of our viewers, the life of a fallen, former PGA champion was simply too mundane compared to that of Chris Wenning, an erstwhile traveling salesman from Alpharetta, Georgia", said Kelly Tilghman, Golf Channel analyst. "As the sole male living in a house full of females (wife Mary; daughters Lindsay, Leslie, and Laura Grace; feline Daisy; canine Lilly), we believe 'Spoon for A Day' will provide compelling drama for our female audience, while male viewers will flock to watch the hijinks that ensue in Spoon's annual golf trip to Hilton Head Island. Think along the lines of Caddyshack meets Jersey Shore."

Sponsored by Luther's B-B-Q in Macon ("You don't need no teef to eat our beef") and Natural Light beer, the show will air live from Hilton Head Island during the 2010 Dixie Cup Matches at 1:00 am PDT on April 14-17, with a cameo appearance from John Daley each evening.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Handicap Update

Here are the FINAL handicaps by team, effective April 1, which will be used to handicap all matches for the tournament:

TEAM GEORGIA
Balsman - 4.4; Hallion - 13.7; Giralt - 9.4; Goodrich - 17.9; Page - 18.1; Thompson - 13.8; Wenning - 6.9; Wood - 12.7. AVERAGE = .

TEAM TEXAS
Allen - 9.8; Francis - 10.3; Henry - 10.3; Hollander - 7.8; Lewis - 7.5; Miller - 6.4; Unverzagt - 6.8; Wenning - 4.9. AVERAGE = 7.9

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Viva, La Cuchara Grande!

- WHEN HE ADDRESSES THE BALL…IT ADDRESSES HIM BACK...
- HE REGULARLY SHOOTS HIS AGE…IN DOG YEARS...
- ANYWHERE HE STANDS…BECOMES GROUND UNDER REPAIR...
- WHEN HE NEEDS A RULING…HE SIMPLY ASKS HIMSELF...
- WHEN HE GOES TO DENNY’S…WAITRESSES TIP HIM...
- HE IS…THE SECOND MOST INTERESTING MAN ON HILTON HEAD ISLAND.

“I DON’T ALWAYS DRINK BEER, BUT WHEN I DO, I BUY THE CHEAPEST SHIT I CAN FIND."

"STAY THIRSTY, MY FRIENDS.”

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Most Interesting Man on HHI

The Tournament Committee is pleased to announce that Dos Equis has been selected as the Official Beer of The 2010 Dixie Cup Matches.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Lodging Update

In an effort to help his team maintain their focus during the upcoming Dixie Cup, Captain Spoon has announced that Team Georgia will be staying at the General Putnam Motel, located 62 miles from Hilton Head. In addition to keeping his boys on a tight leash each night, the economics simply proved too compelling for Spoon to pass up (nighly rate $39.00, double-occupancy, with free parking).

Team Georgia members can also upgrade to the Confederate Club level (double-wide trailer) for an extra $20.00/night, earning triple "Putnam Points" that can be redeemed for a free breakfast (regular value = $1.50), as well as nightly manager's reception offering complimentary boiled peanuts, Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, and continuous Dukes of Hazzard reruns on the motel's 12" black & white Philco TV.

Whether you decide to upgrade or not, please remember to bring your own towels.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Fashion Citations!

The 2010 Dixie Cup begins one month from today! As we head into the home stretch, our preparations are virtually complete - flights have been booked, lodgings reserved, and our tee times confirmed. As you pack for the trip, let the above picture serve as a guide for what NOT to wear on Hilton Head Island.

If you want to pack light, just create a sign to wear around your neck that says "KICK MY ASS. PLEASE.". You'll provoke the same reaction From the Low Country locals, while conserving space in your luggage to carry more beer, personal hygiene products, golf balls, and other essential items.

When the sun sets over Calibogue Sound, Goody advises all the single boys that the dress code loosens up a little bit, and that he always gets lucky when decked out in the togs depicted in the following video.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Preparations H (HI)

With five weeks to go, preparations for the 2010 Dixie Cup are moving into high gear, with Team Georgia already in two-a-days led by their erstwhile captain and couch surfer, Captain Spoon. In this picture taken from the clubhouse, Spoon is shown practicing his pre-shot routine, visualizing how to execute his approach to a tight pin at Hilton Head National (or perhaps to the biscuits & gravy at the Denny's breakfast buffet).

Truly, a leader of men!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Practice Round

FYI, for those early arrival interested in squeezing in a practice round on Wednesday, Captain Spoon has arranged a 2:00 PM tee time at Island West Golf Club in Bluffton, located approximately 15 minutes from the Savannah airport.

The rate is $37.50/player, so please email Chris if you're interested in playing. Also, please note that Island West is part of the Strom Thurmond Wildlife & Segregation Refuge, with all manner of beasts lurking in the native grasses. You've been warned.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Come and Get It!

It is said that an army moves on its stomach. To get our larder, cooler, and wine cellar properly stocked for the big event, Spoon and Goody will make a grocery run to the local Piggly Wiggly on Wednesday, stocking up on groceries, beer, and wine sufficient to feed and hydrate both teams for the duration of the weekend.

Chef Goody will be working his magic on the range top (be sure to wash it, Goody, after you and your date are done with it the prior evening), and has prepared a menu of his favorite creations for our dining pleasure (albeit not his "Fruit Loops con Leche", nor Trouser Trout Almondine with Viagra Blue Cheese crumbles):

Wednesday 4/14
-Dinner: Pizza @ Urchin #5 - 7:30pm
Thursday 4/15
-Continental Breakfast
-Dinner: Green rocket salad (goat cheese & beets), beef tenderloin steaks, butternut ravioli w/ burnt butter sage sauce & garlic cheesy bread.
Friday 4/16
-Continental Breakfast
-Dinner: Caesar salad (homemade garlic & anchovy dressing), spaghetti w/marinara sauce, homemade Italian meatballs & garlic cheesy bread.
Saturday 4/17
-Continental Breakfast
-Post round party @ Tiki Hut immediately following the play. Losing team buys the drinks
-Champions Dinner: Quarterdeck @ Harbourtown (everyone on their own).

At the end of the weekend, we'll divide up the tab 16 ways to reimburse both Piggly and Wiggly for their out-of-pocket expenses.

Green and Regulation

Our starter and caddy master, Lou, has announced that the purse for the 2010 Dixie Cup will be $2,400, comprised of a $150/man buy-in that will be due Wednesday night prior to the Captains' picks for Saturday's matches. The cake will be cut as follows:

-10% goes to the team with most points at end of Day 1 ($240, or $30/man).
-20% of pot goes to the team with the most pointsat end of Day 2 ($480 or $60/man).
-70% of pot goes to the 2010 Dixie Cup champions at the end of Day 3 ($1,680 or $210/man).

Tournament Format & Handicapping

Here is a summary of the various match formats, handicapping, and rules as prepared by the Tournament Committee.

Tournament Format
The tournament format will be in six (6) matches:
-Matches 1 & 4: 18-hole, 2-man Best Ball. 8 matches, each worth one (1) point.
-Matches 2 & 3: 18-hole, 2-man Alternate Shot. 8 matches, each worth one (1) point. Each 2-man team must decide who tees off on each hole. Player “A” tees off on the odd holes; Player “B” on the even holes. Players alternate shots until you have finished with the hole.
-Match 5: 18-hole Singles match. 8 matches, each worth one (1) point.
-Match 6: 9-hole, four-man scramble. 2 matches, each worth two (2) points

The team with 14 ½ or more points at the conclusion of Match 6 will be the winner of the 2010 Dixie Cup.

Handicaps
-For Matches 1 & 4, we will be using 100% of individual player handicaps, playing off the lower player in the Match.
-For Matches 2 & 3, we will be using 50% of the combined team handicaps, playing off the lower team in each group. Please see the following examples based on the following four players and handicaps (in parentheses):

Team GA #5 (9) / Team TX #5 (10)
Team GA #6 (13) / Team TX #6 (11)


Best Ball Matches:
-Player #5 from Team GA receives 0 shots; Player #6 from Team GA receives 4 shots on the most difficult holes (excluding par 3’s).
-Player #5 from Team TX receives 1 shot; Player #6 from Team TX receives 2 shots on the most difficult holes (excluding par 3’s).
Alternate Shot Matches:·
-Team GA has a combined handicap of 22; Team TX a combined handicap of 21.
-Team GA would receive 50% of the difference (½ stroke), adjusted up/down to the nearest full number (1 stroke) or 1 shot on the most difficult hole (excluding the par 3’s).
Singles Match:
-Between #5 players, Player #5 from Team TX receives one (1) shot on the most difficult hole (excluding the par 3’s).
-Between #6 players, Player #6 from Team GA receives two (2) shots on the two most difficult holes (excluding the par 3’s).
Team Scramble:
-Four (4) players per team; each team must employ one (1) drive from each player.
-Strokes will be determined by adding the handicaps of four players in each team (Example: Team GA-42; Team TX-36; differential = 6), then applying 25% of the differential.
-In this example, Team TX would give 1.5 shots to the sandbaggers from Team GA, or rounded up to two (2) strokes on the two hardest holes (excluding par 3's)

Rules
U.S.G.A. Rules will govern all play with the following local rules & reminders:
1. Every player will be playing from the Blue Tees.
2. Out of bounds is defined by all white stakes, streets, parking lots and boundary fences.
3. Lateral hazards are defined by red stakes and red lines.
4. Regular hazards are defined by yellow stakes and yellow lines.
5. Drop Areas can be used where marked. If you enter the hazard, you may use the drop area marked, adding a one-stroke penalty.
6. Ground under repair will be marked by white lines.
7. The 14-club limit and one ball rule is not in effect.

If there are any gripes, complaints, etc. about the rules or format, kindly bring them to the attention of the Committee, and be assured that we will promptly tell you to stick them up your ass. Thank you.

Monday, February 22, 2010

UPDATED: Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

The travel schedule has been finalized. A ground transportation message will follow within the next couple weeks:

ARRIVALS: WED, APRIL 14TH
HILTON HEAD
10:35 AM / US4429 - WOOD
ATLANTA
12:23 PM / AA1296 - WENNING
SAVANNAH
11:20 AM / AA3305 - HOLLANDER, NELSON, UNVERZAGT.
05:35 PM / AA3428 - ALLEN, FRANCIS, MILLER
06:56 PM / US2244 - HALLION

DEPARTURES: SUN, APRIL 18
SAVANNAH
10:14 AM - UA8087 - WOOD
11:05 AM / US2228 - HALLION
11:50 AM / AA3432 - ALLEN, FRANCIS, HOLLANDER, LEWIS, MILLER, NELSON, UNVERZAGT, WENNING

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Man Up

Through the wonders of digital photography, I've cobbled together a couple of slideshows to the right depicting two groups of faces only their mothers could love.

Goody and Phil, since I didn't have any pictures of you in my digital archives, the two black and whites were the most appropriate facsimiles I could find. Nellie, your stand-in was photographed two years ago during a tour of the Coliseum (the one in Rome, not Nassau County), a highly effeminate Spartacus who took a shine both to me and my wife's purse.

If the three of you would like me to replace your respective avatars with an authentic mug shot, please send one to me via email. In the mean time, its only fair to warn you that the Texans are getting their game faces on, as depicted in the following video taken from the surveillance camera at the Las Colinas CC pro shop.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Updated Courses & Tee Times

Gents:

Here is our day-by-day schedule of venues and matches for the 2010 Dixie Cup. Links to each of the respective clubs can be found in the column to the right.

Day 1 - The Country Club of Hilton Head
Match #1 will commence on Thursday morning, April 15, with four (4) tee times beginning at 7:32 am.; tee times for Match #2 commencing promptly at 1:00 p.m. Green fees for the day will be $105.00 (plus cart) for the first loop, and $40.00 for the second, for an all-in average of $72.50/round for each 18-hole loop.

Day 2 - Golden Bear Golf Club at Indigo Run
Match #3 will commence on Friday morning, April 16, with four (4) tee times beginning at 7:15 am.; tee times for Match #4 will commence at 12:37 p.m. Green fees for the day will be $83.00 (including cart) for the first loop, and $30.00 for the second, for an all-in average of $56.50/round for each 18-hole loop

Day 3 - Hilton Head National Golf Club
Match #5 will be held on Saturday morning, April 17, with four tee times beginning at 8:00 am. Our sixth and final Match will be a 9-hole team scramble in the afternoon, with tee times beginning at 1:30 p.m. The total cost/player for the day will be $103.20

Thanks.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Cupdate #2 - Accommodations

The housing subcommittee of the 2010 Dixie Cup tournament has reached agreement with a reputable Hilton Head slumlord on our accommodations. Both squads will be ensconced at #4 and #5 Urchin Manor, respectively, with links to said flop houses found in the column to the right.

The rate/person for the four-night stay will be $337.50. At your convenience, please mail a check in said amount to:

Chris Wenning
550 Croydon Lane
Alpharetta, GA 30022


Other Updates
We should have an update within the next two weeks on courses and tee times. Also, those flying into HHI area airports are asked to send me their flight information so that the Tournament Committee can faciliate ground transportation requirements.

Please let me know if you have any questions in the interim. Thanks.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

"Cupdate" #1

Gentlemen:

Pursuant to my email of earlier today, I wanted to introduce you to a simple blog that I've put together for our upcoming adventures.

As information is updated on the trip (i.e., courses, tee times, accommodations, etc.), I will post the information to this site. If you click the link on the upper left entitled Follow and record your email address, you will automatically receive updates as they are posted.

In setting up the rosters for Team Georgia and Team Texas in the column to the right, I've added a hyperlink on each name corresponding with your respective email addresses, making it easier for you to fire off a quick note to one another.

See HHI Links for links to the course we'll be playing, local weather conditions, and the 2010 Verizon Heritage Classic, which will likely play second fiddle to The Dixie Cup. If you have a web site that you think is worth posting, send me the URL and I will add it to the list.

Lastly, the Golf Ticker at the bottom of the page will provide a continuous stream of news from the world of golf and the Heritage Classic.

I hope you guys find the site informative, and please pass along any comments that would make it more valuable.

Thanks.

Scott